hey back to blog aga lol...
yeah got some of the photo of the usher mege event!hehe...happy...!! anw am i still doing well of all things? wonder y am i still leaving frm the past till now nt much changes? every thing is the same!!??
usher meage event let me learn alot...but i don feel anything at all! y isit so? i donnoe haix having slpless nite now aday i think cause of "aomething" n i am fear of doing? i donnoe how evey day didnt slp well onces close my eye everything will fly to my mind y is this fear keep hunting me? i felt so afried i will end up in some place which is v scary... ppl will noe wad am i refer to.. if u noe wad really happen..
i am scared of i couldnt sevwe any more, n this fear of my is drawing me far far away... how long more could i take it i donnoe... how long more could i hold on i couldnt noe... was the decision i make was it rite? i couldnt noe.
the fear of my is keep hunting me i donnoe how long more could i really hold on. soon or later i am gng to break dwn if i cant hold on anymore... this is a v curel toure cause its isnt toure my phyical but emotion mayb devil r using still chance to let me fall?
i donnoe.... i am scared in deep every time i wake up wid all the thing in mind n thinking all the negtive tot wad shld i do?i am so afrid of doing things now emotion r breaking dwn wad els i can depen on? god only u tat i can depen on. this fear tat's is hunrting me is keep pulling away i am so scared of lost my self control how long more will this goin on? i donwan to go any where living in a unless nite i couldnt see wad is my future i donwan to let my mummy to worry i donwan my friends to worry tats why i am keeping this to myself.
i felt so tried n jus donwan to do anything... i am too afrid till this stage i am in i wishing i could gone missing but i couldnt there r so much thing have to do... i wish i could gone w/o any1 notice, wishing running away w/o facing this fact. tat i gng to face soon..
i noe i shldnt write this in my blog but i need to let go of some emotion out sorry if i stunble anyone i don mean it...
some words which is in mind..
y does this fear hunting day n nite?
drawing me not closer but far away frm you god
its making me thinking of resting more n more
feeling so discourage but no one noes.
but only you tat noes wad really happens
cause u're living in my heart
every single day u r the reson
tat i can holding on
no one can compare
the love tat's you gives
cause you love me
tat's y u set me free
god i give thnks to u
in every single day i live
all the reson tat i livw
cause u live in me
love;
